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Mac0SRumors: Mac OS Rumors in transition phase

Saturday, July 10, 2004

Mac OS Rumors in transition phase

To all our fans, we are terribly sorry for the recent outage. Our core server, defiant, has suffered a horrible death and the MOSR team is currently working day and night to recover the data. Several weeks ago, Toby checked himself out of the hospital without telling family or friends. Toby, at the time, had just been injected with his evening dose of liquid morphine, but for some reason unknown to us he was released on his own account. Instead of going home and staying home, Toby apparently took a cab to his house, then took the keys to his grandmother's 1979 Oldsmobile cutlass and began driving to Portland, to the Black Light Media, the headquarters and parent company of MOSR. When Toby arrived at the Black Light Media driveway, he was unable to properly stop due to being under the strong influence of morphine and as a result of the terrible accident he suffered just months ago. Toby accidentally drove the Oldsmobile through an exterior wall of Black Light Media. Unfortunately for Toby and another member of the MOSR staff, The wall Toby hit was adjacent to the master bathroom, where a member of the Black Light Media Staff was bathing. The force to the wall, shattered the tub, sending waves of Water from the bathroom into the nearby Black Light Media Sever room. Although Ryan attempted to absorb as much water as he could using a bag of the new MOSR t-shirts (coming soon), the water was too much for the shirts. The water flooded into the Server room where the MOSR core server lay. The water soon hit an outlet and sparks flew everywhere, starting a small fire and blowing the power. The police arrived within minutes as did the fire department, due to the fire. The Fire Department went in with hoses, and flushed the whole room and all the servers. This is also the reason our sister site, Xerces.com has been unavailable.

Toby was ironically rushed back to the same hospital he checked himself out of 45 minutes prior. He suffered lacerations to his big toe, a sprained index finger, and a broken nose. Unfortunately Toby has still been unable to obtain health insurance. With hundreds of thousands of dollars in payments built up from his accident a few months ago, this has literally crippled Toby and his family. Toby thanks all of you who donated to him previously, and regretfully may have to ask for your assistance again. Toby is accepting your support through the Mac OS Rumors Honor System.

Your head-hancho was also rushed in a separate ambulance because he was the Black Light Media official bathing in the tub at the time of the accident. I cannot thank you all enough for your support. The ones who found out have been incredible and a great support group.

We are hoping to recover some data soon. In the meantime, we will update the MOSR readers on this site and post some interesting rumors coming through the grape vine, in the meantime. Our elves are also hard at work on a new version of MOSR that will deliver over 50 new features. A members area is also in the planning!

Thank you all so much for your patience.

The MOSR Staff

16 Comments:

At July 11, 2004 at 11:18 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Man, turn this story into a movie script! If it wouldn't be so sad, it would be hilarious! You could make truck loads with a comic script like that. :-)

Thanks for the fun ride, no pun intended.
And all the best to Toby, seriously.

 
At July 11, 2004 at 4:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry, but this story has all the believability of a quad-processor PowerMac. Most entertaining though, as your work has always been. Nice touch on the t-shirts.

Anyway, keep up the good work, I will always read mosr, in whatever form, for pure entertainment value. Much better than As the Apple Turns.

 
At July 13, 2004 at 3:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Blah, blah, blah, ...

 
At July 17, 2004 at 5:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't get why you don't redirect macosrumors.com to this page? It is insane to have a domain name and not redirect it to something useful while servers are down. It costs you nothing at all - just use mydomain.com. Most readers have given up on your web site because you guys did nothing with the domain name while your servers were down and all the other events in your life. Really poor guys.

 
At July 22, 2004 at 12:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice trolling, dude. This is obviously not the same MacOSRumors team, but rather a clever troll. Read the articles on this blog closely, folks. It's satire and parody. This has nothing to do with the original MacOS Rumors site.

 
At July 24, 2004 at 2:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not just nice trolling. Not just satire and comedy. In fact, the guy's writing is too poor for this to be of purely satirical value. No, indeed, this is money. This is actually an ingenious scam. MOSR disappears, leaving behind and unusually loyal and usually willing to donate fan base. This guy, he's a genius, really. He creates a "temporary MOSR," tells elaborate stories of tragedies costing hundreds of thousands, and asks for donations. Now get this: there's no redirect to this site. What does this mean? That the only people who will find it will be those who go to Google and search for Mac OS Rumors. That is to say that the only people who ever get here will be the most devoted of an already dedicated and loyal fan base. And it's just that group that will immediately break out their wallets. That's serious cash.

Props to this guy for an ingenious scam. But he ain't getting my money.

 
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